Monday, September 10, 2007


Last month my father moved into a small but well-upholstered room in a Home for the Incurably Bonkers.

In his last few months of freedom he made some peculiar financial decisions. One of these was buying a swamp. It's worth a tenth of what he paid for it. The bloke who sold it to him is not afraid of letters from solicitors (lawyers) and possesses many fine examples. I went over to look the bastard in the eye and inform him of my intention to pursue the matter till hell freezes over.

Hopefully that'll be the end of it. Flying back and forth across the country on tedious legal errands does not thrill me to the core. Let's look at some of the photos I got while I was there.

Xanthorrhoea spikes

Xanthorrhoea AKA grass tree.

We had one of these in the backyard when I was a kid. Ours must've been impotent or summat because it never flowered, poor bugger.


There you go. Can't remember if this was two very close together or one with a double trunk.

Base of Xanthorrea flower

Base of flower in amongst the leaves.

The flower spikes are anything from a metre to 3 metres long, usually about 2 and as thick as a can of Red Bull. They look soft but are really hard and prickly. Green means they're not in full bloom yet. They go soft and creamy yellow when they're in full bloom.

The spines (leaves) are about a metre long (3 feet), 3-6mm wide (1/8th inch), easy to snap, diamond-shaped in the cross section. A handful makes a great whip but you get yer eye poked out reaching in to break them off.

Trunk of the Xanthorrhoea

Fallen trunk of a Xanthorrhoea. Glorious colour inside, no? It's hollow up the middle and made of strange flat spines.

Couple more Xanthorrhoea photos

Kangaroo paw flowers

Kangaroo paw flower. Anigozanthos manglesii its proper name is. Grows to about knee height and in small clumps.

Kangaroo paw flower

The red and green one is the most sought after. There's a yellow one as well. The texture is soft and velvety.

Blue sky this morning and a bank of grey cloud coming over now. The kookaburras were laughing again. My inbox is full of improbably named persons who want to tell me their volume exploded and a mate sent this amusing photo of two cocks and a ball.


Blabberon said...

Welcome back. I missed you.

Interesting plant life you got around there. Great photos.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I missed you too, Spike darling.
I have a spare Evil Eye™ if you want it for that bastard. It's a little squished though, but it still works.

Kangaroo Paw flower does look remarkably like kangaroo paws. Good job they're called that, really...

Spike said...

Ron, thank yer kindly.

Never really noticed how weird our plants are until I started blogging. This blogging shit is educational!

Device dear, thank yer kindly for the Evil Eye™. Is it a one use only or should I keep it in a glass of Steradent?

There is also a Parrot Bush which looks nothing like parrots but a lot like tongues.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

The Steradent should keep it going for a little while...

Spike said...

Device dear, excellent.

BTW, the pair of you, I missed you two too, and all my bloggy friends of course. Okay, group hug!

Sophy Webb said...

Well, I hope you told your Dad that he purchased a great investment as it should be about him and not you.

Spike said...

Sophy, thanks for your concern. However a contaminated swamp in the middle of nowhere and miles from the nearest fucking road is not the best investment in the world.

And when I say my father is in a Home for the Incurably Bonkers, I mean it. And I've got to sort out his fucking finances.