Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Stymied

Fuck a fucking firetruck. Gotta wait until next week for the doctor to tell me I'm still ticking over. Bastards.

Went back just now to have the heart monitor thingy peeled off. When they bung it on they make you strip to the waist and cover you with round flat sticky things, attach them to wires then hang a little box round your neck. Sleeping with that lot on is okay as long as you lay on your back like a starfish and don't move for eight hours.

Taking it off again is just a matter of them peering intently at the box for a while and making notes then peeling off the round sticky things and telling you to go away. I was all set to trot straight round to the doc with the printout.

"That'll be ready next week some time," say them, breezily.

"WHAT?"

Nervously, "Your doctor will let you know when he wants to see you."

I considered laying one of Inexplicable Device's General Hexes on them but if they broke out in boils before I was out the door they might bung my printout at the back of the queue.

So here I am with a week to wait and no booze in the house. Must remedy.

P.S.

Dwyer Avenue Woy Woy

No proper walk today (wasn't allowed) but snapped one pleasant fifties place in Dwyer Avenue, just round the corner from the hospital. It's a warm day. 28 Celcuis (83 F) blue sky and only the slightest breeze. A taste of summer.

7 comments:

Inexplicable DeVice said...

No booze in the house?!?!?

* faints *

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ooooh. Nearly cracked my head open on the table leg!

Spike darling, sorry to hear you're still not having much luck with your doctor. I happen to have a Nife ande Specific Hex handy, should you require one in a day or two...

Suzanne said...

So happy to realize that you have a National Health Service down there. We tried to get one up here, but anything that benefits women, children and other various and sundry members of the underclass is looked upon as highly suspect and a threat to the patriarchy, especially when it's put forward by a woman. (Especially if that woman is Hilary Clinton.) Anyway, if they find anything wrong, they'll put it right, and it won't even cost you a major organ, probably.

So sorry to hear the hell you're going through. Thanks for keeping us posted.

Spike said...

Device dear - Have a bandaid. I remedied the situation yesterday and a large crate of Stoli was delivered by a burly delivery person.

A Nife ande Specific Hex would be very handy. Do you also have a Raine of Toades Hex? If not something that makes his eyebrows fall out will do the trick.

Suzanne - Your lack of a national health thingy is worrisome. Mental patients thrust out onto the streets and so on, I understand.

The waiting lists here are something like 2 years for an artificial hip and a year for non-fatal stuff. But that's only if you don't go private. And Dear Old Things get free rides in ambulances. My Nana refused to get in one when she broke her arm, until the nice ambo said it was free for DOTs and she practically leapt into it.

Where was I going with this? Can't remember.

Anyways, thank you all kindly for the concern. Would've posted about the heart monitor thing after I got the results had I known they were going to take all fucking week. As it is I suffer palpitations every time I wonder whythefuck he wants to know what my ticker's doing. Bloody swine.

That said, he is one of the better doctor's on the Peninsula. I just like to let off steam.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Oh, I've only got A Raine of Tadpoles Hex, but it's a bit messy. How about one of those little chefs flame throwers for his eyebrows?

Oooh.. WVs a bugger - I can barely make it out. Lots of 'm's and 'r's and 'n's etc. Here goes...

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ha Ha! Success!

Spike said...

One of those little chefs flame throwers for his eyebrows would be spot on. No way he'd be expecting that.