Monday, October 17, 2005

Full Bloody Stop

Got a copy of my Gran's Will today. In it there's no "small cash
bequest" to anyone, let alone to me.

What the fuck?

Do I think my father has suddenly recovered from a lifetime of being tightfisted (cheap) and started handing out his own money to relatives? No, I do not. Do I think the "small cash bequest" he says Gran left to me and my cousins is his way of giving me money? No, I do not.

Not in the light of his various tantrums and sulks and ego-mania in the past and the recent thing where he claimed to have "power over you all". I think it's just another promise he doesn't intend to keep, just another petty power play in a life full of petty power plays.

The games my father plays are set up so no-one can win. The only way to avoid losing a game you can't win is to not play the game.

It's a harsh thing to have to say about your own parent but if I never see my father again it will be too soon.


Vampire Librarian said...


Shit, this whole thing you've been chronicling with your father is awful. I hope you find some way to resolve it, whether that be completely disassociating with the man, or him finally getting a clue.

Spike said...

Shit yeah re the awfulness. I keep waiting for him to get that clue/fucking grow up already but he's spend his entire life behaving like a tantrum-chucking god so there's probably fuck-all chance of him changing now.

completely disassociating with the man

This seems likely. He's already told my aunt and uncle he doesn't want to see them ever again after he finished screaming at them for no reason. So I'm guessing he'll do the same to me. Which will be the best thing for my health and stress levels anyways.

Like they say in the classics: Family. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

The sympathy is much appreciated :)